the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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