ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
