Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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