the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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