I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize
