Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
