It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
