A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
