Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
