where does the pee come out of this thing
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
