Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
