So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
