if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
