If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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