it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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