We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize