I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
