I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
