Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
