that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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