hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
