took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
