I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
