Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
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