Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
