i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
