false alarm. still invincible.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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