moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
