1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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