I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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