Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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