ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
