I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
