You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
