When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
