College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
