just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
