I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
