and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
