My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I AM VODKA MAN
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
