i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize