Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He felt like a one man threesome
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
