lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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