Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
