Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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