Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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