It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
