I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
did i walk over a car last night?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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