i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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