He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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