So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize