I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it was like eating out sand paper
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
