dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She swung at the pinata with crutches
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
