OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
