I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
