dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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