do herpes really smell.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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