Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if only i could text you this smell
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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