HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
