UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
this beer tastes like vomit already
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A+ Viking dick
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
