Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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