I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
