He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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