so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
