After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
