Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
