Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
