Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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