My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
