its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
