New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
