Yo dont text me then not text me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
