I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I cannot find my penis.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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