I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
