what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
