You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
