he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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