Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
