He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
did you just send me my own nude
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize