you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize