were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
