How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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