Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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