I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
