She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
