I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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