i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
