i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
