I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Everything about him screamed your future.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
